update

I guess it’s been a little while. Things have improved since my last blog. God is good! I am grateful for all the people that have been praying for me and my mom. She has been out of the hospital for over a month now and is doing very well. It was a bit of a process but she is finally on her way up. Dealing with someone who has bipolar is quite the roller coaster I must say. But God has always been so faithful. I’m so thankful that this time around was a lot easier and didn't last as long as other times. Also I am leaving next week for a 3 week trip in Australia. I cannot fully express how much I am excited and blessed by this vacation. And knowing that my mom is able to take care of herself again and feeling happy just makes it so much sweeter. I think I will actually be able to fully relax. Whew!

I feel bombarded by so much stimulation (as I'm sure many do, especially in L.A.) so I'm really looking forward to some time to rest my mind. Three weeks free from L.A. traffic, obnoxious billboards, being stuck at my desk sitting on my big butt all day staring at the computer typing typing typing (yes I know there is a greater purpose to my job than just that =D), the list could go on. For those people that don't get a break from those kind of things (and worse) I pray that you too will be able to get away for some R&R and de-fragging.

Peace!

happy freakin' new year. ;)

What to say? What to say? My head hurts a lot lately, too much on my mind. My friend Dan thinks my brain is just too big for my skull. Yah, that must be it.

My mom is in the hospital right now. Depression stuff again. I'm just so tired. Emotionally,spiritually, and now resulting in physically. I just wish I could not let this situation affect other stuff. I find myself getting angry at the smallest things. I just can't seem to function as well as I should. There's just not enough time to explain all that's in my head and I don't think I even understand it all yet. I wish I could get away but its not possible right now. I'm so thankful for my friends being there to make me laugh (or at least attempt to sometimes) and listen to my ramblings and just being patient when I "check out" once in a while.

I know this situation will get better, and maybe even in a more permanent way this time.My hope is that some real solid, genuine life-changing results will come out of this for my whole family. Ha, there's a commercial about depression that says, "Who does depression hurt? Everyone." Yes it's worst for the individual going through it but oh the depths it reaches in the families... I'm starting to realize I probably need to find a professional support group for this type of thing. If you know of anything in my area hit me up.


In conclusion... I don't know. :)

animal planet

So much for blogging regularly- it's been a month. I realize that I view this a bit as a really pretty journal that you don't write in very much unless you have time to write all nice and neat and have wonderful things to put in it. You don't want to just write anything or thoughts that aren't so flattering right? So that is my dilemma. I know I need to get over it. Sometimes our thoughts are ugly- but does that make them any less worthwhile? Probably not. So here are my thoughts...

I've been in a bit of a bad mood today. It has gotten better over the hours though. There was only one incident that happened today where my gloominess reached out and touched someone. A lady at work gave me some unnecessary attitude earlier and in my mind I pictured attacking her like a fierce lioness in the wilds of Africa. I didn't do that. But I did give some needed attitude back and it felt pretty good. I get tired of being patient with repeat offenders sometimes. Is that so bad? Do I turn the other cheek in silence or can I speak my mind while turning my cheek? I'm not really referring to just that incident. I'm just working on balance and boundaries right now. How far do you go to not hurt someones feelings by pointing out their faults while their actions or words are hurting you? Even when they have good intentions... I have had bad experiences with the whole 'speaking the truth in love' thing. I have been bitten hard and I still let it hold me back to this day. But in order to have the truly beautiful, fulfilling relationships that the Lord calls us to have I must press on and get back on the bike. I may fall many times over but hopefully the ride will get easier. Sigh.

I'm sure there's more but I'll end here...

blog?

Yep, I'm going to attempt this whole regular blogging thing. I'm thinking this will be a good way to exercise my thought organization. I'm working on a song right now and I have sections of words that are waiting for me to put them all together into their intended masterpiece. I just hope this one doesn't turn out to be another abandoned one, never given the fair chance to live up to its potential.

I need sleep. I love sleep. But probably 90% of the time I don't get enough of it. Why is it so hard for me to go to bed?

Too much on my mind
Need to unwind
Perhaps...