Sunday afternoon...

It's rare for me to have a Sunday afternoon to myself. There's always something going on after church (especially during Football season) or always someone around. So I'm enjoying this nice moment, soaking in the sound of the fountain outside in the courtyard of my apartment building, and feeling my heart palpitate rapidly from the strong cup of coffee I am drinking.. :) I know I need to start in on my packing progress in a little while but for now I just rest~ and it feels good!!

Over the years I've come to realize more and more that I love( and need) time all by self. I enjoy being around people, but if I don't get enough to myself it starts to affect me negatively. I feel so much more rested and can think clearer when I do. So... I know it's going to be challenging these next 6 months. Next weekend I will be moving into my sister's place a few miles away in order to save money. She has three kids, all 8 years old right now (haha) and I will be sharing my niece's room with her. They are great kids but like most are loud and require a lot of attention. It will be harder for me to find places to escape to have that alone time, so I'm sure I'll have to be more creative and spend more time outdoors. I'm hoping it will inspire me to take frequent walks or hikes and to find beautiful nature-filled spots. This will be an interesting new adventure.. but I'm excited to be closer to my family for this time and to see what God brings out of this. I will miss my room and my awesome apartment that I have loved living at for almost a year and a half. But change must come and with it new trials and new blessings..

Ok, back to packing. Sigh...

Captivating

I started re-reading the book Captivating a week or so ago. I read the book a few years ago but I definitely think it is a good one to read every so often during the different stages of your life. I’m learning new things about myself. This book helps me see where the root of some of my issues are and is also helping me embrace my role in life as a woman and the desires that come along with it. For some reason it hasn’t been easy for me to be okay with being that “little girl twirling her dress, asking to be delighted in and told that she is beautiful.” It’s always been simpler to accept the independent tomboy side of me that is outdoorsy and a little crude and easily hangs with the guys. I can definitely see how my parents influenced these areas. My dad was a great man.. he just wasn’t great at giving affection or communicating love vocally. So I related to him on his level. I felt close to him and was able to spend time with him doing the things he was interested in.. which were the outdoors and fishing/hunting. I felt the most accepted by him by being like him. And the womanly example I had in my mom growing up was most often an emotional mess that was not stable and created a lot of drama. Of course my mom has a lot of good qualities that I think I have taken on.. but I certainly shied away from the outwardly emotional or needy tendencies she has.

I think one thing I am really taking away from the book right now is the fact that since women were created in God’s image.. that desire to be pursued and delighted in is a characteristic that comes straight from Him. And that helps me in many ways. It shows me how it is more than okay to have the desires that I do, and also how important it is to feed God’s own “womanly” desires and even romance him. That is just one thing I am soaking in from this book.. I highly recommend reading it or re-reading it. =)